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What Am I Doing?
Men are weird and I'm a dork 
22nd-May-2010 12:03 am
Oh God What the Fuck
This evening I went to a party, not wholly, but definitely partly, because it was at the Sherlock Holmes pub  near Charing Cross. Then I left early because I wanted to write Sherlock Holmes fanfiction. I think that sets some new pinnacle of tragic nerdery. 

On the train home I sat next to the loo so that I could stealthily power up my laptop from the nearby socket that is Not For Public Use. Opposite me sat two youngish men who were amused by my electricity-stealing shenanigans. They were also in a state of some raucousness and talking a lot about girls and shagging them.
Bloke 1: Is there SMUT on your computer?
Waid: *careful facial control*   No.
Bloke 1: *looks over shoulder at screen* UGH THAT'S DISGUSTING. *pause for reaction that doesn't come.* SHE'S LOOKING AT PORN! 
Waid: *looks completely  innocent*
Laptop screen: *looks completely innocent though Sherlock Holmes is in fact being desperately in love with Watson all over it*
Bloke 1: *has no actual idea* Oh, never mind

(Not that Winter in London IS smut, but... you know.).

Bloke 2, to Waid: It's tough being the sober  one, isn' t it?
Bloke 1: Don't apologise for me! I'm not that drunk. Anyway, you love it when I'm drunk! That's the only time you get to POUND MY ARSE. Here, I'm going to the toilet, DO YOU WANT TO COME WITH ME?
Bloke 2 *laughing fondly*: No thanks.
Blokes 1 & 2: *Continue to talk loudly about having sex with each other, while Waid continues to write slash fanfiction.*

Eventually Blokes 1 & 2 get off the train, paving the way for Blokes 3 & 4, who are strangers to each other.

Bloke 3: *Enters loo. Fails to lock door.*
Bloke 4: *Opens loo door.* Oh. Oh dear. I'm sorry.
Bloke 3: Oh dear.  I'm sorry. *Shuts door*
Bloke 4, to Waid: Well. That's good then. Something different on a Friday night. *walks away*

In short, it was the slashiest train ride ever. This was not actually at all erotic, but it was quite entertaining.
21st-May-2010 11:21 pm (UTC)
Why do you get the fun train journeys and I get people screaming "racist!" in my face? You make the mistake of reading Margaret Michell one time in public...
22nd-May-2010 12:00 am (UTC)
Eep. Well, that's a novel way to fight racism in the world.

(Oh God. Pun not intended.)
22nd-May-2010 06:18 am (UTC)
22nd-May-2010 07:09 am (UTC)

I love all the shit on the walls in the Holmes pub, particularly the Hound of the Baskervilles, which is some moth-eaten doggie with a bit of faded paint splashed on it, and the photo of the man Sidney Pagney based his Watson on, who is the cutest mustachioed man in the world.
23rd-May-2010 03:54 pm (UTC)
I never noticed the Not For Public Use sockets in trains before; I obviously need to pay better attention, especially given the number of times I had to sit by the loo because there were no other seats (organisation: I have none) or I was just too tired to drag my ginormous suitcase any further.

It's like now you have a slash ship, you start attracting slashy events, like a magnet X3
23rd-May-2010 04:14 pm (UTC)
Where there are carpets there will also be power sockets - what you have to ask yourself is "Does this space have to be hoovered?" There's usually one in the vestibule thing where the doors are, but near the loos it's easier because you don't have to stretch the cord so far around the barrier thingy and it's easier to be subtle. Sometimes you have to ... press buttons. But I have yet to break a train, or be caught.
23rd-May-2010 04:44 pm (UTC)
My, you'v turned this into an art ¦D
23rd-May-2010 04:48 pm (UTC)
Heh - yeah, years of dragging my laptop (or rather a succession of laptops, I break them all the goddamn time) around with me like a millstone...
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