This evening I went to a party, not wholly, but definitely partly, because it was at the Sherlock Holmes pub near Charing Cross. Then I left early because I wanted to write Sherlock Holmes fanfiction. I think that sets some new pinnacle of tragic nerdery.
On the train home I sat next to the loo so that I could stealthily power up my laptop from the nearby socket that is Not For Public Use. Opposite me sat two youngish men who were amused by my electricity-stealing shenanigans. They were also in a state of some raucousness and talking a lot about girls and shagging them. . Bloke 1: Is there SMUT on your computer? Waid: *careful facial control* No. Bloke 1: *looks over shoulder at screen* UGH THAT'S DISGUSTING. *pause for reaction that doesn't come.* SHE'S LOOKING AT PORN! Waid: *looks completely innocent* Laptop screen: *looks completely innocent though Sherlock Holmes is in fact being desperately in love with Watson all over it* Bloke 1: *has no actual idea* Oh, never mind
(Not that Winter in London IS smut, but... you know.).
Bloke 2, to Waid: It's tough being the sober one, isn' t it? Bloke 1: Don't apologise for me! I'm not that drunk. Anyway, you love it when I'm drunk! That's the only time you get to POUND MY ARSE. Here, I'm going to the toilet, DO YOU WANT TO COME WITH ME? Bloke 2 *laughing fondly*: No thanks. Blokes 1 & 2: *Continue to talk loudly about having sex with each other, while Waid continues to write slash fanfiction.*
Eventually Blokes 1 & 2 get off the train, paving the way for Blokes 3 & 4, who are strangers to each other.
Bloke 3: *Enters loo. Fails to lock door.* Bloke 4: *Opens loo door.* Oh. Oh dear. I'm sorry. Bloke 3: Oh dear. I'm sorry. *Shuts door* Bloke 4, to Waid: Well. That's good then. Something different on a Friday night. *walks away*
In short, it was the slashiest train ride ever. This was not actually at all erotic, but it was quite entertaining.