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Winter in London - Part XVI 
15th-Jul-2010 09:22 pm
angst


Part I,
Part II,
Part III,
Part IV,
Part V,
Part VI,
Part VII
Part VIII 
Part IX
Part X
Part XI
Part XII
Part XIII
Part XIV
Part XV

 

 

I had thought I would not write here again. Cases have endings of sorts, but this – I see there will be no finishing point that I do not impose myself, and I must give it up some time, must I not?  There are moments, events that look like endings on the page, even feel like it before they slide past into something else. Yet after what has occurred – I must do something. I wrote when I began that I wished to  order my thoughts, and  catalogue my errors. And surely I have again made more than one dangerous mistake. I had better prepare myself to see it that way. And if I do not feel it yet –

I am descending into mere babble. I must begin again.

* * *

Each morning, there in the the Times, is the column headlined Central Criminal Court, and each morning one must decide whether or not one is going to read it.  I watch Watson silently judge that it is all out of our hands and there is no point in distressing himself by looking at the page.  Then ten minutes later he will decide this is cowardly and absurd and that he had better read the thing at once and get it over with. He proceeds to do this with the most impressive self-possession, though naturally his lips compress and his breathing changes.  Sometimes he will pass me the paper afterwards, or quietly summarise what it says.

“It seems to be going badly enough for him,” he said quietly to me on Thursday morning,  and  I looked from  his closed eyes, to his  hand spread on the tablecloth as if to anchor himself  here in our familiar rooms by its texture. He exhaled. “Well, it’ll be over soon now,”  he murmured, as much to himself as to me.

 But it will not be over, will it?

I read the column in my turn. It engrages me if Gilfoyle appears to have got the better of any exchange,  even if there is a part of me that would rejoice were he acquitted, for then I should have my chance at him.

We are ten days into a stingy,  grudging April, bleak as November except for a few bright days last week. The new leaves are stiff and reluctant on the trees in Regent’s Park, the grass in the mornings still brittle with frost. Three clients have come to me with problems;  a landlord pursuing absconded debtors, a gentleman pining sadly for a missing greyhound,   and a blackmailed bride. Watson did not attend any of these interviews, politely excusing himself to his room for the first two and leaving the house entirely some hours before  the third, mentioning a trip to the library.  As I ushered Lady Eva into the sitting room a number of points struck me about his absence:

Firstly, that although I usually impress upon clients that  they may, indeed must, speak as freely before Watson as to myself, Lady Eva was so wracked with nerves, so terrified of her troubles becoming common knowledge, that it was in this case perhaps as well not to have to go to the effort of convincing her.

Secondly,that it appeared I no longer had a partner.  Besides handling some of the correspondence, Watson had taken no part in any case of mine since that awful night in January. Why on earth should he?  

I attempted  to quell a foolish rush of loneliness. So I would not be dragging him into harm’s way any more, I told myself –well, so much the better. I had managed alone before he came, and it was miraculous indeed that I still had his company and friendship at all.  To chafe at having to take my own notes and fight off my own assailants in future was surely  petty in the extreme.

However, while I struggled for  this proper perspective on a return to solitary practice, I made no effort at all to argue myself out of a new attack of rage at Gilfoyle. And that led me to my third thought:  I had a sudden and awful suspicion where Watson was.

I did not, of course, allow these reflections to keep me from paying due attention to my client, who had remained deaf to my invitation to take a seat and stood there staring blankly before her, her teeth clenched, screwing one of her kid gloves into a ball between her hands.

“I can’t stay long. I only hope no one saw me coming here. I’m supposed to be shopping for wedding favours,” she said in a disjointed, mechanical fashion.

“Pray sit down, my lady,” I urged her, for the second time.

To have to address her so felt slightly ridiculous. Eva Blackwell is twenty-one, but does not look it.  She is tall but with that  childish, thin-skinned cast of beauty that rarely lasts long and is the more poignant for it; a slim, wispy girl with pale curls and huge, slightly protuberant blue eyes.  Already desperation and sleeplessness had begun whittle away at  the fresh softness of her features, and her lips were dragged into a harsh, taut line. Nevertheless, without the contextual evidence of coiffeur and clothes, one might guess her age at about fourteen.  She is engaged to the Earl of Dovercourt, who is twenty years her senior.    

“I would advise you to confide in your fiance,” I said. “Mr Milverton’s power over you would be entirely dispelled. And unless you are misleading me about the content of your letters to Mr Talbot or the date at which you sent them...”

 “No! I told you – it was all over, two years ago. I had no idea the letters still existed. He promised he’d burn them.”

“Then  they document a mere flirtation, well before your engagement with the Earl.”

“I cannot believe I was so stupid,” she moaned.

“You are by no means the only victim whose trust has been abused,” I said. “But while Mr Talbot has betrayed you, you have betrayed nobody. You have not wronged the Earl, and he can reproach you with nothing worse than youthful imprudence. Surely, if he were to know your trouble, his one wish would be to protect you.” I paused. “If he loves you.”

She hesitated. “He says he does,” she said in a tired, blank tone.  

“Yet you have no confidence in him.”

Indignation flashed across her face for a moment, but she could not sustain it. She slumped in the chair and with a tight little smile agreed, “No.”

I did not ask her why not, only waited, and as I expected, she soon went on.  “Walter has been a bachelor  for a long time,” she said, carefully flattening expression out of her voice. “He was in no hurry to marry. He has seen a great deal of the world, but he had always  intended, eventually, to marry a woman who had not.  An innocent young girl whom he could guide and... and mould to suit him. Someone close to his own rank, of course, but with no real experience of life, someone very modest and reserved and... well. Pure.

With that childlike little face she certainly looked the part.  But there was something nauseating about this dreary recitation, and I was beginning to think that in wrecking this marriage, Milverton might actually be committing an inadvertent good deed.

“I have to marry him,” she said grimly, as if I had spoken this thought, and looked, for a moment, entirely adult.

“Forgive me for saying so, Lady Eva, but you sound, if determined, not exactly enthusiastic.”

She winced. “Do you know anything about my family?” she asked in a low voice.

Of course I did. The Blackwell divorce case occurred when I was about Lady Eva’s present age, before I had yet cultivated a professional interest in celebrity gossip and aristocratic scandals. Indeed, at that time of my life, my state of mind had rather precluded much interest in anything. Yet when marchionesses elope with  French naval officers, one has to be stone dead not to hear about it.

“My father never got over it, I suppose,” said Lady Eva, dully. “He died eighteen months ago. My brother likes to blame my mother for that too. And my sister...”

She  reached into her reticule and produced a small photograph in an oval frame. It showed two girls in white dresses, conventionally posed in a sisterly embrace: a beringletted, adolescent Lady Eva with her arm around the shoulders of a wary, secretive-looking child of perhaps eleven, who peered unsmilingly at the camera from behind dark hair and pressed against her sister’s side.

 “That’s the only picture I have of Claudia,” said Lady Eva. “She’s in Earlswood Hospital.” And although I knew what the name of that institution signified, she elaborated in a voice suddenly hoarse with incredulous rage: “She’s in Royal Earlswood Asylum for Idiots.  She has been there for three years.  I have been able to do nothing.

Furious tears  sprang into her eyes, and she started up and walked about the room.

“Claudia is not an idiot,” she said thickly, “She was so clever – oh, God, not was, she is, I am sure she still is.  But Milverton knows about her - he told me – I had to hear it from him – about a month ago she tried to... hurt herself.” She looked sharply at me, “She is not mad any more than she is an idiot,” she inisted, as if I were claiming otherwise. “Or she was not until they sent her away, and if she is mad now it is not her fault.”

“Lady Eva,” I said,  “Do you mean it is for your sister’s sake that you have engaged yourself to the Earl?”

Yes,” she said, fiercely, quite past pretending that any of the love involved in this transaction was for her fiance.  “I have to, I have to get her out of that place. I would do anything. ”

I had already been angry, before she  had even begun to speak. Of course I had been angry for weeks. Now I felt it quiver along my bloodstream, frightening and heady and sickening all at once, like one drink too many. It was becoming clear that even if I could free her from Milverton’s grip, she would remain in a snare from which I could not release her. I was sick of London and all its hard bargains. I was so very sick of problems I could not solve.

 “Then, I suppose, your fiance has agreed that after the wedding, you may take charge of your sister’s care,” I supplied.                                                                                         

She nodded.   “You must understand,” she said when she was a little calmer. “Claudia  never much resembled any of the rest of the family. And not long after that photograph was taken, she began to have – fits. They were not so bad at first, but my father began... well, I suppose he had thought as much for a long time, but  he began to say openly there had never been anything like that in his  family, and my brother and I were healthy enough so... my mother must have left him a little cuckoo in the nest to remember her by.”

She was scrabbling in the reticule – whose contents seemed schoolgirlishly untidy –  for a handkerchief.  I handed her one from the box I have been compelled to keep for such occasions – weeping clients are no rare occurrence. “And her condition deteriorated,” I said.

“Yes.  The fits became more frequent – and she would behave strangely for a while before and after, she wouldn’t know what was happening or understand what you said to her. It always passed, and she would be herself again, but then when she was fifteen,  she had a very bad attack, and ... there were people visiting, she came into the dining room and she wasn’t ... properly dressed. And so father put her in that place, and  my brother and his wife see no reason she shouldn’t stay there. It is killing her, I knew that even before I heard what she’d done to herself last month. I have only three thousand pounds of my own, I cannot make a home for us both on that. My brother wouldn’t let her be released into my care even if I could. So you see I need help. And more money.”

She stopped crying quite suddenly, and her face went empty again.

“So there it is,” she said. “I have told you what kind of wife Walter wants. You may imagine that there is already some doubt a girl from a family like mine qualifies. His mother is still living – she does not approve of his marrying a Blackwell at all. He would not see the letters as you do, Mr Holmes, he would see them as evidence I should make the same kind of wife as my mother did.”

We were both silent for some time, I weighing various possibilities and she staring in vacant misery at the carpet.

“Mr Milverton has given you ten days to respond?” I asked at last. She nodded. “It may take me a little time to arrive at a solution...”

“Solution...?” she repeated blankly, lifting her eyes to meet mine, then sighed.  “No, no. I am sorry, Mr Holmes, for bringing you a problem  that must hardly be worth your time – there’s no mystery for you, is there? And there’s no time for you to do anything clever. I just didn’t know where else to go. Tell him I’ll pay him, as much as I possibly can, but I don’t have what he’s asking for – if I did, I’d give it to him. He doesn’t seem to understand that.  Perhaps you can make him understand. That’s why I came to you.”

The prospect of sending Milverton away merely slightly disappointed in his profits, so this heroic child could sell herself  undisturbed, was not very inviting. “I will do what I can,” I said.  And inwardly I made a bargain of my own. I would attempt, in all sincerity, to do as she directed. But if that failed, as I already expected it would, I would count myself free to take whatever measures I liked.

>>Part XVII

 

Comments 
15th-Jul-2010 09:00 pm (UTC)
Hey, some depth to Lady Eva! \o/
17th-Jul-2010 06:32 pm (UTC)
One of the things that bugs/intrigues me about MILV is why is it so critical that Lady E marry someone who sounds like a complete shithead?! I mean, it’s not as if it’s Victorianly unthinkable for a man to sympathise with her plight – HOLMES can do it, for heaven’s sake, and he isn’t supposed to love her forever. Also, while we’re all here for Holmes and Watson and the resulting male-centric focus is just to be expected, (except in Study in Skirts *cough* *nudge*), I did think it would be nice to go “hey, women also exist!” at some point. Especially as until this point it was all “blokes, blokes, blokes, blokes, Mrs Hudson brings supper and asks if the blokes are okay, blokes, blokes, blokes.”
15th-Jul-2010 09:04 pm (UTC)
O-O
oooooh! interesting take on the whole milverton storyline. Im horrible with names*

Am loving this story so much. The fact that watson is still suffering seems very realistic to me and angst whore that I am, Im so enjoying his pain...lol.
17th-Jul-2010 06:35 pm (UTC)
Heh, if we didn't love to see them suffer, we'd none of us be here. Thank you!
15th-Jul-2010 09:28 pm (UTC)
I, too, like that you have put some meat on the bones of the Lady Eva situation. Extra bonus points for working in Victorian asylums (I work with adults with LD, some of who used to live in institutions like Earlswood).
So pleased to see another instalment of this great fic.
17th-Jul-2010 06:41 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I know not all Victorian asylums were necessarily as bad as we tend to imagine, but I'm sure even in the best of circumstances being locked away from your family and treated as "insane" when you weren't while your real condition went untreated would be traumatic enough.
15th-Jul-2010 09:43 pm (UTC)
Secondly, that it appeared I no longer had a partner. OH. You can feel the hurt in this line so well.

I love this too: I was sick of London and all its hard bargains.

And I really love the way you've written Lady Eva and her dilemma.

The prospect of sending Milverton away merely slightly disappointed in his profits, so this heroic child could sell herself undisturbed, was not very inviting. Yes, THIS.

17th-Jul-2010 06:45 pm (UTC)
Thank you! It's nice to see those lines picked out. ^___^

And I'll see you tomorrow, all being well ! Erm, would you like to switch mobile numbers in case something isn't?
(Deleted comment)
17th-Jul-2010 06:47 pm (UTC)
Heh. I'd switch out the asylum people (it's not their fault! They may be perfectly well-intentioned and kind!) with "the Earl of Dovercourt" and then I'd say that would be fair enough. Seriously, what an unutterable bastard that guy is.
16th-Jul-2010 12:57 am (UTC)
Wonderful! Wonderful! Ever chapter of this fic adds more layers and more plot! I LOVE it!!!
17th-Jul-2010 06:47 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much!
16th-Jul-2010 02:40 am (UTC)
"Each morning one must decide whether or not one is going to read it." I'm lost in admiration of that distancing "one," which reveals so much pain by concealing it.

I'm so glad you posted more, though of course one's nails are bitten to the quick, etc. etc. This new movement, opening out the story again from the almost claustrophobic intimacy of the previous installments ...

17th-Jul-2010 07:00 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

(I am all too addicted to "one" as a pronoun, and always have been, had some trouble at primary school as that. It's my mum's fault, she claims to have got it from French, which doesn't entirely make sense.)

They had to face the "so are we or are we not still a crime-fighting duo?" at some point, and I wanted to use a canon story, and not only does Milverton fit, dating-wise it is is the ONLY canon story that fits! (Well, with some minor cheating, but hardly any.) I practically punched the air when I realised that! \o/
16th-Jul-2010 04:01 am (UTC)
I'm happy you've updated and given Lady Eva a backstory. (I loved the way Granada portrayed her aunt!)

Eagerly anticipating the next chapter.
17th-Jul-2010 07:01 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

I haven't actually watched the Granada version of MILV yet - I must do. I hear it's angsty.
16th-Jul-2010 08:43 am (UTC)
Ohhh, I like this part very much. I love that you've given Lady Eva some depth - I always did think that she was making a mistake to marry a man who would be horrified at the discovery that she'd DARED to love anyone before him. & I can't wait to see how Watson's slow withdrawal is going to tie in with what happens in CHAS. Brilliant!
17th-Jul-2010 07:05 pm (UTC)
I know! Why can’t she DTMFA and keep her money? THERE MUST BE A REASON. I mean, yeah, yeah, Victorian values, but the narrative is all “She’s done nothing really wrong!”, she’s getting almost uncharacteristically passionate sympathy and protectiveness from Holmes, of all supposedly emotionally illiterate people, and Watson is all *chivalry!* -- but apparently, the man who wants to spend the rest of his life with her has nothing of the kind to offer. What an arse!

Anyway thank you! I'm reassured to hear nice things about this part; I was a bit nervous posting a chapter dominated by someone who's practically an OC.
16th-Jul-2010 02:19 pm (UTC)
I continue to adore this story. I love that after the perfectly claustrophobic intimacy of the last few chapters it is spreading its wings a bit. I love Watson quietly pulling away. I love that Holmes is palpably hurt by him pulling away.

Well, let's just say I love it all.
17th-Jul-2010 07:09 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Like I was saying above, I thought the crimefighting issue had to be addressed eventually and I was terribly excited when I realised I almost HAD to do it with MILV.
16th-Jul-2010 05:57 pm (UTC)
Poor Claudia! I hope Holmes manages to save her from the asylum, and Lady Eva from the marriage!
17th-Jul-2010 07:14 pm (UTC)
Indeed, poor Claudia. We'll see if anything can be done... (*rubs hands*)
(Deleted comment)
17th-Jul-2010 07:17 pm (UTC)
Ah, the parallel - cool. I was all "Is this all punch-in-the-face-with-a-neon-hammer obvious and OTT, or so subtle as to be completely pointless?" about that. It just seemed to me that the frustrating question of why Lady Eva has to marry a man who sounds like an utter bastard opened an interesting opportunity...
16th-Jul-2010 11:37 pm (UTC)
I'm so glad to have another chapter of this.
17th-Jul-2010 07:18 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
17th-Jul-2010 11:51 am (UTC)
I squeed aloud last night when I saw that there was a new chapter and hurried to bed with my Itouch so I could really enjoy it, snuggled in bed (since that is the best place to read anything) - and I wasn't disappointed at all. New twist and I am really looking forward to the next chapter.
17th-Jul-2010 07:22 pm (UTC)
Aww, it's really nice to think of you all happily curled up with it like that. Thank you!
17th-Jul-2010 03:53 pm (UTC) - Depth Lady Eva Kudos!
Wow, an actual story for Lady Eva! Thank you. I always wondered what else could be going on behind Milverton's cases.
17th-Jul-2010 07:29 pm (UTC) - Re: Depth Lady Eva Kudos!
Thank you. Yeah, there has to be a reason why Holmes is helping her to marry the bastard Earl instead of suggesting she dump him. (Well, there could be, anyway.)
19th-Jul-2010 01:41 am (UTC)
Oooh, I do love the characterisation of Lady Eva here! Which WAS rather lacking in the canon. ;) I love that you've brought in the sexism of the time, as well as the terrifying nature of the medical profession, how inconvenient people could just be locked away on the family's say-so... I want to punch the Earl in the face now for his attitude as well - the wanting an innocent to "mould" - aaargh! I do love everything you've done with this. :)
21st-Jul-2010 08:02 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! And the Earl already deserved punching! Though yeah, I guess I did make him even grosser.
19th-Jul-2010 03:30 am (UTC)
Oh, the new layers here make this even richer. As everyone else has commented, you make wonderful use of Lady Eva here.

The prospect of sending Milverton away merely slightly disappointed in his profits, so this heroic child could sell herself undisturbed, was not very inviting.

This line is so perfectly crafted that it was a delight to read. And your story is full of such art.

Thank you, as always, for sharing this with us.
21st-Jul-2010 08:04 pm (UTC)
Thank you! You're very kind. I was a bit worried about this being so very heavy on Lady Eva and light on Watson, so I really appreciate this!
(Deleted comment)
21st-Jul-2010 08:00 pm (UTC)
Aww! Well, thank you, and you sound delightful in all your online appearances, too!
20th-Jul-2010 12:09 am (UTC)
Oh. *is intrigued* And so, the plot thickens...

I do like your take on Lady Eva here - as others above have noted, it certainly explains a lot, and I'm quite interested to see how the Milverton story eventually dovetails with everything else.

And Watson distancing himself, slowly but surely, in the background. *sigh*
21st-Jul-2010 08:06 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I hope you'll like where the Milverton business is going. ^___^

Edited at 2010-07-21 08:06 pm (UTC)
21st-Jul-2010 02:04 am (UTC)
Hooray! Finding a newly posted chapter of this story always makes my day! I agree with everyone, I am also really intrigued and excited about pulling in the Milverton storyline. Once again, this is just FABULOUS stuff! Hooray again!!!
21st-Jul-2010 08:08 pm (UTC)
Aww! "Hooray!" is such a nice responce to get - let alone twice! Thank you!
22nd-Jul-2010 02:53 pm (UTC)
The downside to going away for any length of time is missing out on catching amazing things like this chapter, hot off the press.

I love how you've linked up with canon, I too love what you've done with lady Eva, giving her such depth and sadness. Normally dark angst is too much for me and I just move on, but somehow with every angstier turn this takes the more gripped, no, obsessed, by this I become. I can't wait for the next chapter, my heart is yours to break :P
31st-Jul-2010 08:45 pm (UTC)
Well, I'm glad you came back! Thank you, as I've said to others, I was worried about foisting so much Lady Eva on everyone, so I'm really pleased people like this take on her. (Poor thing.)

Angst is gooooood. However, I do prefer it when characters aren't completely broken, (even if they might think they are). I'm happy you're enjoing this sort of level of gloom.
28th-Jul-2010 09:39 pm (UTC)
I'm left breathless after reading this. Even though this is my first comment, as I've read it all in one gulp, I have the nerve to ask if I might friend you, as I would hate to miss even one installment.
31st-Jul-2010 08:38 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much, and of course I don't mind! And in advance of that taking effect - there is a new installment now!
29th-Jul-2010 01:11 pm (UTC)
OH! This is a reminder to me of why I usually don't read unfinished stories ! I can't stand leaving the boys in such a state and having to wait! I just came to this story by katead's rec, and I'm so glad I did (in spite of the agony of now having to wait). Every time I started another section, I would jump down to the bottom to assure myself that there was another to follow, but is this really the last one? *resigned sigh* I guess I'll have to be patient.

I admit I don't usually go for such dark angsty stuff, but this is so well written, and there is enough here that makes me hopeful too, so I can stand the angst, if you see what I mean. I adore how you've portrayed Holmes' complete devotion to Watson - his longing for him (I loved the line about the kiss being a taste of something he'd wanted for so long under the worst possible circumstances) but the patience he has at the same time, wanting to be with Watson so much that he will accept remaining celibate and keeping his feelings secret. But at the beginning of the story there's also the very Holmes-y tendency to take Watson for granted, his self-absorption when the case is resolving - it's the perfect contrast to what comes after. I also thought your Mycroft was wonderful - his manner is just what I imagine, sort of odd and distant though he obviously cares for his brother. And Watson - he's just so very GOOD, and I don't mean that in a negative or dismissive sense. The way you've presented him is very much in keeping with my idea of him: brave, stalwart, caring - and geez, how I'm enjoying watching him suffer!

May I friend you so I don't miss the next installment?
31st-Jul-2010 08:41 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much indeed - what lovely compliments; your reactions are everything I could wish for in a reader. And at least there is some more up now, at last! (I've sort of been holding off on replying to comments until I could say that.)Of course you may friend me! Really, no permission needed.
18th-Nov-2010 07:47 am (UTC)
Anonymous
So I've been sitting with this chapter in an open tab for literally weeks now, not letting myself read further until I can post a coherent comment to this one. And the coherent comments just aren't coming because this story is just filling me with so many flaily feelings. So, let me just say that more than anything else, I love how good Holmes is here. Especially in the wake of BBC Sherlock, I feel like it's so popular and easy to write Holmes as only concerned with his own intellectual stimulation, and only feeling human emotions for Watson (and not that there isn't a grain of truth to that characterization, but it isn't the whole story). So it means a lot to me to finally see a fic with a Holmes who actually does care about justice and the humanity of the people he deals with in his cases. That comes through very clearly in CHAS, and you've drawn out that thread beautifully and tied it to the larger story in this fic. And like everyone else, I love what you did with Lady Eva. Hey, women existed in Victorian London! And life frequently sucked for them!

And just, I don't know. Incoherent comment is incoherent. But this fic is beautiful, and good, and means a lot to me.

And now I'm going to get off my butt and go read more.
18th-Nov-2010 07:49 am (UTC)
Um... didn't actually mean for that to be anonymous.
12th-Aug-2011 04:49 pm (UTC)
Wonderful story! I like how you have written the case, their reactions and thei relationship. I also like how you have done research about the time - such as the laws on prostitution and the asylum, and how realistically you describe epilepsy, and so on..! You make Lady Eva more realistic than ACD ever did - her hesitation to tell her fiance becomes logical rather than to seem foolish and cowardly, like in the original story. I also like the level of angst, some authors lay it on so thick it becomes difficult to read, but you do it just right! And I laughed and smiled at Holmes' very Victorian sentimentalism when he thought how he would live the rest of his life on Watson's scent alone just as Watson said "and did you eat anything today?"

Thank you for writing!
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